Week 55 - Step 2: Faith

 Week 55 already.  My weigh in went well, I did drop two pounds, so that puts me in the 174 range somewhere.  I didn't write it down, again.  And the weekend went down hill fairly quickly after that.  It's been a busy week for me and my husband, I haven't seen him much in the past two weeks.  That always makes me sad.  Plus the time is going by faster and faster and I still have so much I want to accomplish before 5 May 2013 as well as needing to get my runs in to be able to do that run.  I've looked up the 12 steps in the 12 step program and step number two is FAITH.  The first step is Honesty, I believe that I have been honest with myself and I know that I have many issues with food.  The second step is kind of ironic for this week.  Having faith that it will and can work will be a hard one to do.  Faith in general is hard if you stop and think about it.  But I know that many others have used the 12 step program and that it has worked for many people as well.  So my goal for this week is to have faith in me and the higher powers that I can beat food.  To be honest though, I didn't log my food today.  But as I said before this weekend wasn't a good one.  My husband was in a hit and run accident on Saturday.  It could have been worse and for the fact that he is fine I am grateful.  But then I heard or read some even sadder news and I haven't been able to shake the sadness away.  A fellow runner, a coach, a friend that I have not met lost his child that same evening, about the same time.  I bought up old feelings that I thought I had buried and dealt with long ago.  I guess this weekend is proof that some wounds never heal, they just scab over and are over looked.  For all that is right in my world, I am ever so grateful.  For all that is wrong in my friends world I am saddened, I know I can't ease his or his families pain.  I can only sit here and remember and look back at the road that I have walked.  I know that in the months and years ahead he and his family will find their way, but I hurt for them now.  I too send my deepest condolences to Zen Runner and his family.  So in the words of a beautiful song that keeps repeating in my head........"I look to you".......