Week 29; EPIC FAIL

Well, last week was an epic failure!  I went in yesterday for my weigh in and as you can tell by the title and picture, it was not good.  I really didn't even want to post this week.  I hate admitting that I've failed, but I had a thought last night as I was cleaning up the apartment.  If I can admit I've failed, put it down in black and white, maybe just maybe I can move on and get motivated again.  What is it about getting close to your goals that makes it so hard to keep going?  Why do we find it easy to revert back to old habits, when you have been doing so well?  I've been waking up at 4 a.m., exercising daily, and watching what I eat for months.  If it only takes about 30 days to create a new habit, why am I struggling so much this past month to get back on track and reach my goal?  Okay, enough of the whining.  My new number is

160.4, that means I had a gain of 1.2 pounds this week.  I'm defiantly going in the wrong direction!  I've been hovering around the 160 mark for about a month now.  Anyone out there have any ideas?  I'm not sure I know what to do any more.  I did go in for my weekly consultation and I am quite frankly worried.  I'm not sure this new consultant will be a good fit either.  I've decided that I will give it one more month and if I can't get going in the right direction again or if this new consultant doesn't work, I'll try something else.  Let me tell you what happened and then if I'm totally off base, you can comment if you would like.  I'm not sure what my new consultant's official job title is, (I'll have to ask next time), but I'd have to guess she's involved with money somehow.  Like the account manager or something like that.  She said all the same things, like "What worked this week?, What didn't?, How did this week go?, What do you think happened?", but the real "uh oh" came when it came time to place my food order.  I will give her some credit for reading at least part of my file.  She did know that I was training for some sort of a race, but I don't think she knows how much weight I've lost or how well I was doing doing before the month of August.  When it came time to place my order, she started asking a lot of "Why" questions.  "Why are you not eating the Anytime bars?" "Why do you not order all seven days?" "Who was your consultant when you reached your half way mark?"  Let me explain.  When I reached my half way mark, I was told that I would start eating two days on my own.  Well according to Lisa, my new consultant, it's not technically two days off the program.  According to Lisa, I'm still supposed to eat one "Jenny Meal" and one "Jenny Snack" every day.  So that means that I would only be taking off four menu items total.  In short about a $20 dollar saving from what I was spending weekly.  Now anyone that knows me well, knows that money is a real concern lately, because my husband was laid off in May of this year, started back to college again, and just three weeks ago started a new job that pays less than half of what he used to bring in.  So the fact that I'm still doing the "JC program" is proof that I'm in it for me and it's important to me to reach my goal.  Her comment was "If you are eating any less than the recommended amounts of Jenny Craig menu items, then you aren't doing the Jenny Craig program."  She also said, "You should never have any "left over" food items." and pointed to a sign on the wall.  The sign pretty much said the same thing.  She told me to "share" the left over items with friends and family.   I don't know if I was being a tad bit too sensitive, but to me it just screamed "We want your money."  So, when I left I thought about it a while and thought give her a chance before you decide that she's just worried about her commission.  We will see how it goes on Friday.  So enough about the program.  On to my exercise portion of the week, the second half of the failure for the week.
  My exercise program has been awful for the past two weeks as well.  Yes, I did get in a good long run last week, but I've been sleeping in and skipping the short runs, my core workouts and just all together being a total lazy butt.  I haven't been consistent, I haven't been motivated, and I'm really starting to worry about the up coming race in three weeks.  I really need to pull myself together and try to focus on my goals.  I'm so close to accomplishing my 1/2 marathon goal, that I feel I'm trying to sabotage myself.  And I have no ideas on how to fix it.  I just keep getting up and trying to push myself into doing something.  So there it is, this weeks post.  Here's to being hopeful that next week is better.  Until next week, keep moving everyone (that includes me too!) ~ Darcy