So I didn't go in again this week, so I have no numbers to post. I can say that my scale at home pretty much says what the scale said at JC when I went in last. I sit here feeling lost and wondering which direction do I go to get back on track. The past month has been one of stagnation. I've gone no where. I've gained pounds, I've had uncontrolled craving for junk foods, and tons of aches and pains in the legs. I've given in to my body and my mind and I guess now it's time to stand up and say "No More!!!" I hate plateaus and I think that is what this is, it just means it's time to shake things up a little bit again. I've been toying with the thought of the "Reboot", but don't really think I could just drink my calories for more than one day. I like eating too much. I already spend at least 6 hours a week exercising and I wonder if I can work in any more. If I could would I be disciplined enough to do? The say that I have learned that what I eat must be worked off every day or I will gain weight. And if I want to lose, I have to eat less than I burn. I have been tracking my foods and I can say that I eat about 1500 to 1600 calories a day. So I guess my body had gotten pretty good at sustaining on that amount. Can I eat less? Can I burn more? I feel like I'm sitting on the derailed train thinking if I sit here long enough the train will start moving again. After all it worked for 6 months, right? I've been exercising! Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I cheat just a little?? Okay, okay, I know! Because when I cheat, it's not a little. So I guess the real question is "Why do I have to an all or nothing" kind of person? Why can't I be more like my husband? He can eat one cookie and put them away. He's had the same jar of candy on his computer desk for six months!!!! How do I learn to just take one and be happy with ONE piece? I would have to say this is question that has been asked by many and if I had the answer, I would be one very wealthy woman. So again I will try to get back on track this week and move forward. No beating myself up for the past month, no thinking "I would be at my goal now, if I hadn't screwed up!" No! I will not try, I will DO! I WILL get back on track! The goal is a worthy goal and I deserve to reach it! I am not as bad and as horrible a person as I think I am. Okay, move forward! And I plan on going in to Jenny on Friday morning!
Now for the exercise part of last week, I took three days of rest this week to let my body recharge and repair. I fainted at work on Sunday so that helped my take an extra day of rest. Falling on your face and busting open your lip, helps you sit still for a bit. This past Saturday I ran 9.5 miles and walked a mile! When I finished I felt the same as I had the day I ran my 10K. I was tired sure, but I still could have done a few more. Then on Sunday I did another 5K, I did them a lot slower than I usually do, but that's okay. I had signed up for a virtual race to honor those that lost their lives on 9-11. I dedicated my run to all US Military members that protects us every day for a living, so I couldn't back out. So this week I have a 10 mile long run that I will probably have to do on Friday, because I work the whole weekend. I want to try to work in some more core and strength training as well as trying to get that darn yoga in! And one last note, I'm tired of lower lip hurting, it's healing well, but still has a bit of a sting in it. Okay that's it for this week, sorry about the rambling. Till next week, keep moving! ~ Darcy
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