Last Saturday, Ahtesham and I were sorta watching CNN while he was reading for classes and I was studying my BLS stuff. We were watching a piece on the young man that did the shooting. I was a picture of him holding up a set of BMW keys. Then I turned to Ahtesham and said "I don't even have a BMW!" He says to me without missing a beat "Do you want one?" I looked at him and said, "Why, would you buy me one?" Again without missing a beat his answer came, "Yes." Still staring at him, I asked "Why?" The answer that came surprised me, but it was just the beginning of a thought provoking week. Ahtesham's answered as he looked up at me from his nursing booking, "Because I love you." And then he returned to his studies. I've been thinking about my up coming training and how large the task before me is. I've been trying to cut the task up into smaller parts to make it easier to tackle. I have also been feeling very alone on the path to my goal. No one that I know wants or likes to travel alone. I just feel like even if I do all of the training alone, if I know someone is out there training as well I will know that I'm not suffering alone. The old adage applies here "misery loves company". I guess I also have been thinking about the race as well. A small part of me fears that Ahtesham will not be able to be there for the race. In the back of my mind I know that it is a real possibility, he will still be in classes for his nursing degree. And I know I don't want to cross the finish line and not have him there. I just don't. That plus the all the things mentioned in my last blog have really made it so easy to sit on the couch. I guess I've been sitting around the last month feeling sorry for myself and I don't know why. Maybe part of it is change. I don't like change. I don't think anyone likes change. Change is scary and who likes to be scared? Since the beginning of the year my life has been in constant change, but my changes can be dealt with and I can over come them. I know my changes are sorta good and all of them will not be forever. So I guess the point of this blog is that I am blessed. I know I'm blessed and I need to stop sitting here on the couch and start moving. My goal is mine and the long and short of it is I'm running a marathon for me. Not my husband, my cousins, or any of my family. Yes, I'll be disappointed if Ahtesham is not there at the finish line, but I'll be more disappointed if I don't cross the finish line. So I intend to blog once or twice a month as I train for my marathon. If you choose, I'd love to have you follow a long my journey of training and I'm sure cursing. I need all the cheerleaders and support I can get!
You can do it!!
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