So week 40! I went into my weigh in on Friday and haven't posted until today. Mainly because I spent most of the weekend wallowing in self-pity. I will explain, but first my weigh in. I did post a drop, not sure how but I did of 0.6 pounds. So my new number is 164.4. I am actually happy with that considering all that transpired last week. All I can say is the the world turns and will continue to turn even though we may wish it would stop, if only to let us catch our breath from time to time. So let me explain the weekend of self-pity now. On Thursday I turned in my two week notice at work. I love being a nurse and enjoyed working at Del Sol Medical Center, but lately things had become difficult. I was becoming very miserable at work and this was spilling over into all other aspects of my life. So after talking with my husband and spending way too much thinking about the options, I decided that I am a good person and a good nurse. I deserve to be happy and not have to spend every minute I'm a work worrying about what mistake I will make next or what new duty will be added to the floor nurse job. After turning in my notice the director and I decided that I would be done on Friday would not go back to finish the two weeks. What's better, they will pay me anyway for the two weeks. That's a win, win in my book, my husband really wanted me to just quit. I just didn't think that I could just walk in and I'm not coming back anymore, although secretly I really wanted to. Even with that said I spent the weekend pondering the job and what it meant to me. Wondering if I had failed again and if maybe I was being difficult and too demanding. All of this boiled over into my consultation and I learned that day that my JC consultant really did care. I am ready again to face the world and I'm very hopeful that I will not be out of a job that long. I am also very hopeful that I can turn my weight loss and training back around now. I truly believe that all the worry about work was affecting my whole life and was a BIG part of why I could not lose any weight in the past few months. My training has also taking a big hit as well. I'm going to shake off those bad feelings and head towards my goals again. I am registered for a race on the 22nd of December. It's just a 5K, (I can't believe that I think just a 5K now), but I'm excited to get back out and run.
With that said my running was basically non-existent this past week. I might have gotten in 7 miles total last week. No I didn't get my one mile every day in, I didn't do my abs, arms and core. Well, I did do one day, but for the most part I just sat! I let the misery take over and have the front seat and then I just felt worse at the end of the week. It's hard to understand why I let people or problems in my life have such control over me. I've been told many times that I "wear my heart on my sleeve." Is that a bag thing? I don't believe so, I really want to do the best I can in this world. I aim to do no harm to anyone that I meet in life and to try and make the world a better place than when I found it. Some days it feels like the world is spinning faster than it should. I feel like things get out of my control and I struggle to slow it and regain composure. So I'm letting go of last week and a job that had become toxic to me and giving myself permission to say, "It's done. You can't change everyone in the world, but you can change you." With that said I turn my back and move forward. Until next week.......GET MOVING EVERYONE!!!!!! ~ Darcy
So week 40! I went into my weigh in on Friday and haven't posted until today. Mainly because I spent most of the weekend wallowing in self-pity. I will explain, but first my weigh in. I did post a drop, not sure how but I did of 0.6 pounds. So my new number is 164.4. I am actually happy with that considering all that transpired last week. All I can say is the the world turns and will continue to turn even though we may wish it would stop, if only to let us catch our breath from time to time. So let me explain the weekend of self-pity now. On Thursday I turned in my two week notice at work. I love being a nurse and enjoyed working at Del Sol Medical Center, but lately things had become difficult. I was becoming very miserable at work and this was spilling over into all other aspects of my life. So after talking with my husband and spending way too much thinking about the options, I decided that I am a good person and a good nurse. I deserve to be happy and not have to spend every minute I'm a work worrying about what mistake I will make next or what new duty will be added to the floor nurse job. After turning in my notice the director and I decided that I would be done on Friday would not go back to finish the two weeks. What's better, they will pay me anyway for the two weeks. That's a win, win in my book, my husband really wanted me to just quit. I just didn't think that I could just walk in and I'm not coming back anymore, although secretly I really wanted to. Even with that said I spent the weekend pondering the job and what it meant to me. Wondering if I had failed again and if maybe I was being difficult and too demanding. All of this boiled over into my consultation and I learned that day that my JC consultant really did care. I am ready again to face the world and I'm very hopeful that I will not be out of a job that long. I am also very hopeful that I can turn my weight loss and training back around now. I truly believe that all the worry about work was affecting my whole life and was a BIG part of why I could not lose any weight in the past few months. My training has also taking a big hit as well. I'm going to shake off those bad feelings and head towards my goals again. I am registered for a race on the 22nd of December. It's just a 5K, (I can't believe that I think just a 5K now), but I'm excited to get back out and run. 
With that said my running was basically non-existent this past week. I might have gotten in 7 miles total last week. No I didn't get my one mile every day in, I didn't do my abs, arms and core. Well, I did do one day, but for the most part I just sat! I let the misery take over and have the front seat and then I just felt worse at the end of the week. It's hard to understand why I let people or problems in my life have such control over me. I've been told many times that I "wear my heart on my sleeve." Is that a bag thing? I don't believe so, I really want to do the best I can in this world. I aim to do no harm to anyone that I meet in life and to try and make the world a better place than when I found it. Some days it feels like the world is spinning faster than it should. I feel like things get out of my control and I struggle to slow it and regain composure. So I'm letting go of last week and a job that had become toxic to me and giving myself permission to say, "It's done. You can't change everyone in the world, but you can change you." With that said I turn my back and move forward. Until next week.......GET MOVING EVERYONE!!!!!! ~ Darcy
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