What I had wanted to write about last week was family. I come from a moderately large family. I am not really close to my family, but I do love them all. I was thinking about my family last week because my Uncle Gary is in the hospital and under went heart surgery last week. When I stepped back last week to ponder them all, I realized how many we have already had to say "Good-bye" to. I also realize that we are not all as healthy as we should be. I decided that I needed to make changes and lead by example for them, for me and for my children. I'm not sure how to approach the ones I love and let them know I'm worried about their lifestyles. Maybe if I can get a grip on the binge eating and get healthy, I can inspire others to make some small changes in their lives. My cousin has always been an inspiration to me. She has always been the smallest and prettiest of the "Three Amigos". I often wondered to myself, "Why can't I be more like her?" If she inspires me to try harder, then I will do my best and hopefully inspire others of our family. I know I want to be around for a lot longer to drive both my husband and children crazy. This week I also learned from mistakes made and I posted a gain. I'm not sure how much of a gain and what I weighed when I went in for my appointment this week. Not because I don't want to remember, but because I always put the numbers in my iPhone and that way I don't have to remember. But this week I dutifully put the numbers on my "notes" app and then directly from my appointment to buy a new phone....duh! They did share as much of the information from my old phone before erasing it to make it ready to take my husband's information and become his phone. I didn't think about it at the time, but notes don't move over. So all that information is lost. Anyway, I can tell you I'm around the 180 mark again. Oh how I hate that and I thought that I would do so that week because work was hectic and I skipped all my lunches and I skipped one dinner. I also did workout last week got three runs in and an ab/arm workout. So I thought for sure I would be okay. Nope! I know for sure that if you added my whole week's worth of food up and then subtracted it from what I should normally eat in a week, I would have been way under my calorie count. What does that mean? It means if I don't eat, my body retaliates by keeping every thing I put in my mouth somewhere on this body and I don't lose anything. I was so frustrated. Yes on Saturday and Sunday I may have gone over my 1200 calories by a bit, but I know that on Monday and Tuesday I was lucky to get in 350 to 600 calories for the whole day!!! Okay, another lesson learned the hard way. Although my week has started out pretty much the same way this week. So I'm being to wonder if I will ever learn that lesson well enough. Eating is a constant struggle for me. I like chocolate, (There I said it! In fact I LOVE chocolate.) I like chips and dip, I like eating. And sometimes I really have no self control. But I am lucky that this no control crosses all borders and I'm the same way when it comes to my running and exercise as well. That said, I did do the Komen Race for the Cure 5K this past Sunday. There too I also learned a bit about myself. I waited until the last minute to decide to run and registered on Saturday at the mall. I had to pay last minute fees, which is okay because it was for a good cause, but to save a little money I choose to do the non competitive run instead of the the competitive run. I AM a competitive runner!! The non-competitive run didn't start on time, this is El Paso, Texas and we had to wait for all the last minute stragglers! The walkers and stroller pushers did not listen to the pre-race instructions of walkers to the left, runners to the right and strollers in the back. So when the starting gun went off, walkers were in the way and we runners were trying to just get around them. It was very frustrating. So when the crowd did finally clear out, I pushed a little too hard to make up for lost time and ended up having to break my 5:1 ratio, and I walked a lot more than I wanted. I finished more than a minute slower than my 5K Jingle Bell run in December, but my overall pace was faster by about 10 seconds. Which means that I did run faster and had I done a little better at the start I might have done better than I did in December. Next time, don't save a few bucks and pay for the competitive race entry! Got it! So that's this weeks very long post. Hopefully I will post a good loss this week and do better with my training. Till next week, keep moving everyone! ~ Darcy
For Emma Daun Nelson. Never grow up and never quit wearing tutus and a crown!
Well, the number 51 can only mean one thing for this blogger......I have one more week left before I will have been on the JC program for a year. In total I have lost 30 pounds, a little more but I gained some back. And that my friends averages out to less than a pound a week! Icky! At my lowest I did reach 154, look way back to week 24 I think. Then I gained 26 pounds back and now I'm gaining and losing the same five pounds. So I guess I can say that I've learned how to maintain. My husband was never really "happy" about this program, but did support me and carried me a couple of weeks when I quit a job. Now he is wondering if it is wise to pay the money I'm paying to gain and lose the same 5 pounds and you know what? I can honestly say that I have wondered about the same thing in the past two weeks. I may not have said it out loud, but I am starting to wonder if this is really a good idea anymore. I have one more week before new dues will be charged and I plan on using that week to ponder my commitment to the program and myself. Looking back I have done everything I could to sabotage myself in the past five months. That said, I did go for my weigh in on Friday. I dropped 2.6 pounds this week. No, I'm not celebrating, why because I gained I think 4+ pounds the week before. I didn't write my number down, but will post here 177 and that is more or less what it was. So is it time to move on? Is it time to get serious again? I personally don't think I'm ready yet to go out on my own. There is still more I need to learn about my eating habits and I like my consultant. I hear her voice in my head on days when I'm struggling. Last week she gave me her number to text her when I feel like I'm going to fall off the edge. I haven't used it yet, but maybe that's what I need now. Someone to reach out to and say "Help!". I do hear her voice on days like today when I'm sitting at the computer and don't want to get my runs or core exercises in. She says that this makes her laugh. I think I'd miss her if I stopped going in to weigh. Maybe if I reach out when I'm about to binge instead of trying to face it alone, it will help. Maybe it's time to reach out and stop trying to fight the inner demons alone. I did just look back at all the past posts and after week 24 things went down hill. There was the constant changing of consultants, then the 1/2 marathon training, and finally the decline of the job happiness. I know that I never called the center for help. I never talked to my consultant mid-week if I was having issues. So I will spend the next few days thinking about my choices and what to do. My consultant has a doctor's appointment next week, so I will just weigh in and pick up food. The following week we will sit down and decide where to go. I've struggled, I have struggled a lot this fall and winter. I'm so ready for spring! I also haven't the that good with my marathon training. If I plan on running it's time for to get my tushy off this seat and get in gear. Get serious about my running and start logging my miles. If I don't May will be a total disaster. So I have a lot to think about in the week and a half. Til next week guys keep moving~ Darcy 
I really want to set a good example for my family and friends. I want them to see through me that it can be done! It may not always be easy, but it can be done.
