It's been a week already. Just returned from my weekly weigh in. My new number 173, that's a four pound drop from last week. Am I happy? No! I'm frustrated! As I sit here feeling so deflated, I ask myself why? I guess the answer would have to be I'm tired of being in the 170 range. Three weeks ago I was so close to 169 I could almost touch it. I feel like I've been in the "70's" forever. Now I realize that it's probably only been around a month, but I felt for sure this week I would at least be at the 171 number again. Just being childish a little today I guess. I also had to meet with someone new again at the center today. To explain, I'm a creature of habit, I find comfort in routine and knowing what is coming. I am still not "comfortable" with my new consultant and then today they throw someone new at me. Yes, I know that things happen and they can't guarantee that I will see the same person always, but when I look back at the past month of the ups and downs it just seems to me that it has been the same time as my weight ups and downs. I'm wondering now if that as a little something to do with it. I want routine, I want to feel comfortable again. I want that feeling of I belong and of the person talking to me knowing what I won't eat and what I do for exercise. I'm not difficult, I just want someone that knows me and that I feel "at home" with. Okay, that's off my chest, now I can move on. So with seeing someone new today, I basically weighed in and ordered my food for the week. I also made an appointment for next week. I am going to reach my goal, changes or not! I'm still doing two days on my own. Today is my second free day this week, I'm not sure what I want for dinner. Even food today has lost it's appeal, nothing sounds like "oh my gosh" I want that for dinner. I'm thinking about a post I saw on Facebook, "You're not a dog, don't treat yourself with food!" Is food still the enemy? Sometimes I think this would be so much easier if I could just go cold turkey and not ever eat again. It worked with me and alcohol, why not food? I'm kidding of course, but I think I see something forming in the future.
Now on the running part of things this week I did get in my seven days of running and I also did my abs and arms twice this week! Yeah me! But I'm not happy with the fact that so far my longest run was 5.9 miles. I need and want it to be 6.5 miles. Today's run was supposed to be over 6 miles, but my body fought with me. I finally gave in and stopped at 3.75 miles, my shortest run. Today just felt like such a struggle while I was running. Nothing was comfortable, my Gymboss kept sliding down, my Nano was rubbing my arm raw, my BodyMedia was rubbing on the other arm, and a new not pain but discomfort my left buttocks. So nothing felt "right" today and I just let the body win this one. Am seriously thinking about running the Prairie Fire half marathon in October of this year and I want to finish it right. I am looking at shooting for a finish in 2 and a half hours. This is a little less than double my 10K time. Is this a doable time? Not if my body wins all the wars.......
So that's this week's weigh in. So maybe tomorrow I can run at least 6 miles and make my inner athlete happy. And maybe next week I can finally break through the 170 barrier, that's what I shooting for! Til next time, keep moving! ~ Darcy
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