Week 39, One Month Left

It's hard to believe that November is over.  Today is the 30th of November and my cousin has officially won this month's challenge.  But we have agreed to continue on.  No strict amounts of pounds to lose again, just who will weigh the least at the end of the month.  I had my weigh in today and my new number is 165.0, which is a 2.9 pound loss for the week.  This coming week I do have my wedding anniversary as a challenge, but I will work on that day, so maybe it won't be as much of a challenge as I think.  With the holidays coming, my husband will spend a lot of time at work and on Wednesday (our anniversary date) I will work.  We will try to have a dinner together sometime time next week for sure.  I'm not ready to sum up the year yet, as we still have 31 days left in this year and I am still hopeful that I can make some changes in my numbers.   I can say I felt better this week, better than I've felt in quite a while.  We are still alternating my calorie counts daily between 1200 and 1500, other than that not much has changed.  So I plan to continue on for another week on JC and I really want to be under 160 for the new year.

As for my exercise, I did get in one mile every day this past week.  Some of them were not pretty miles, but they were done,  I also did my two days of core.  I've pledged to continue on with my one mile every day this week and have pledged to do three days of core, icky!  I am training for my 5K Jingle Bell Run, but it's only 5K and I don't feel like I'm training hard enough.  I have been in the dumps for some much of November that I really feel like I need to give this 5K a little more attention or the "hills" may come and bite me in the butt!  I am also seriously thinking of doing the Michelob Ultra 1/2 Marathon here in El Paso scheduled for February.  That would mean that on Sunday I would have to officially start my training again and really get serious with the miles.  That might just help me reach that 160 or below mark for the last day in December.  So there you have it, that's me week.  I feel a bit better this week and I'm looking forward to some running.  Til next week, keep moving everyone! ~ Darcy

Week 38, It's Ugly!

"Hello, my name is Darcy and I'm addicted to food!" I've finally decided that I am addicted to food.  A holiday that's total focus is cooking and eating too much food.  A food addicts worst nightmare and it comes around every year.  Well, all I can say is I lost the battle on Thursday and having a weigh in on Friday was down right awful.  New number is 167.9 and that my friends is a 7.7 pound gain.  The meeting was brief, not many clients choose to go in on Friday.  I can't say that I blame them.  I got another week of food and pledged to run at least a mile every day plus my two core workouts.  If you are a drinker, you stay away from alcohol, if you bet, you stay away from the casinos, but if you eat, you can't stay away from food.  How does the food addict find some measure of control?  How do you eat what is needed to keep you living and not over do it?  I guess that would be the answer I am seeking this week.  So that was my weigh in, I sure hope I can get myself under some sort of control.  I did get my runs and core exercises in for last week, but it was a struggle to get them.  Let's just say I did what I had to, so I could say I didn't quit.  I join a challenge on Runner's World to run at least one mile every day until the new year.  I added that to this weeks pledge with JC and so far I have made my runs.  Yes, even on Thanksgiving day.  I can tell you that running with food in your belly is totally icky!  So that's it for this week, I'm ever hopeful that next week will be better!  Until next week, keep moving everyone ~ Darcy

Week 37, Danger Ahead!

Thanksgiving week, a very dangerous holiday indeed.  Why do we have a holiday that gives us permission to over eat?  I think this is the year that I will take away that permission and tell myself that it is not okay and you've worked too hard to get where you are.  Today was weigh in day, I did post a loss this week of 2.4 pounds.  I do have to confess that it was not an "earned" loss.  Yesterday was a work day.  I slept in and did not eat breakfast, I skipped lunch, had an awful day at work emotionally.  So I came home decided to skip dinner and went for a 30 minute run.  Basically I "punished" myself for being bad all week and did not eat or drink anything on Friday except one cup of coffee with a tablespoon of creamer.  That means on Friday my total calorie intake was 37.  Not good, I know, but I just could not face another day of weighing in and posting a push or gain.  So I cheated.  And yes that's what it was cheating.  I spent the session talking about my job and how I think the stresses of work have now effected my weight loss efforts.  I felt like I am wasting money by just going back and forth the past few months.  We discussed the challenges of next week.  Not to deprive myself of anything, but not to overindulge either.  I again resolve to try harder and be better this week.  I also need to make the decision to get off the wall, quit hoping that things will get better and look for something new.  It's not my fault that things did not work out and I can't change them or wait for it to get better.                                                                         

Exercise this week was basically a bust as well, I did get in three crappy runs and my two abs, core and arms, but just barely.  Only because I came home Friday and beat myself up.  So this week I want four days of running or walking for 30 minutes with my two days of core, abs and arms.  Plus I want to not beat myself up because I hate my job right now.   So that's a short post on how the week went.  I'm still struggling, but at least now I have admitted that I'm struggling to others.  Now to work on a plan to change and move on.   Here's to hoping that your plate is full, but not too full.  Remember that Thanksgiving dinner with out the family being around is just "empty" calories.  Throw in an extra few minutes of exercise if you already know you will over eat on Thursday.  Till next time, keep moving everyone. ~ Darcy

Week 36 Random Thoughts

Again I'm late posting.  I really have no excuse for not posting this weekend except that I'm struggling with my weight issues and life in general.  I have been thinking and doing some soul searching after my weigh in this.  I honestly wonder if I should continue on the Jenny program at all right now.  First let me give you then numbers. 163.4 was my weigh in number this week, for those not keep track, that's a 0.8 pound gain.  I seem to be hovering around the 162 mark right now.  I start every week with the best of all intentions and do my best to stay motivated.  But something happens about mid week and I crack.  I keep thinking about something my consultant and others have said to me...."Stress will add weight".  I'm terribly stressed out about my job and after reading an article today I think that my job may be a BIG part of what's wrong.  The article was "Three Questions to Ask Yourself Before Loosing Weight."   I like being a nurse, I like what I do, but place where I'm working right now is making me miserable.  I don't want to quit and I actually can't afford to quit.  So now the question becomes, how do I fix it?  Like I just stated, I need to work, but I've finally realized that this may be why I'm having such a horrible time getting off this plateau.  And I'm afraid if I don't do something quick I'll start gaining again.  How do I make the best of the situation until I can change it?  I guess that's really my question.  I don't want to be overweight anymore.  I don't!  I don't want to quit running, but right now I'm tired all the time.  I'm not getting up regularly at 4 in the morning to exercise anymore.  I still do every once in a while, but not every day like I used to.  I've registered for a 5K in December to try and jump start my running again.  I bought those new shoes I really wanted to get.  I set my alarm every day, I challenged myself and dragged my cousin in on this challenge and every day I tell myself to get back on track.  Heck I've even set reward goals and mini reward goals in hopes I can get myself going in the right direction.  What more can I do?  I sit here seriously thinking that if I can't get back on track, I might as well just stop going into JC and spending all this money.  I need to be honest with myself, if I can't get back on track then it's just money being wasted.  So that's this weeks post.  A really depressing post I'm totally aware of this.  I'm just lost.  I feel like I'm drowning, fighting for weight loss and air.....  Until next week, keep moving everyone.  ~ Darcy 

Week 35 - Late Post

I was sitting at the computer when I realized that I never posted my weigh in last week.  So, here is my post, very late and short.  I weighed in on Friday and did post a loss my new number is 162.8.  That is a loss of 3.8 pounds.  No, I'm not happy with the loss.  Well, I am happy I lost, but I'm still heavier than my lowest weight and I'm still yo-yoing up and down.  I have challenged my cousin to an "easy" challenge this month.  Since we are both around the same weight, actually she weighs less right now.  So I've told her, no numbers, no "I want to lose 15 pounds", just let's see who can weigh the least at the end of the month.  So if one of us has a really bad month, we may not even have to lose a pound and we could still be the lightest!  I secretly liked being just a little lighter than my cousin and I want to be able to say that again.  I was like it when I know I weigh less than my husband, which right now I don't.  And my cousin doesn't weigh less than him either!  Off the subject a bit,  how do men eat the way they do and not exercise and STILL lose weight?  I would never be mean about weighing less, I just feel so much better about myself when I can think, I'm less.  I've always admired Chris for her since of style and her ability to keep the extra weight off her body.  I realize now how much work it takes to keep those extra pounds at bay and it makes me admire her more.  Well my consultant and I talked about ways to reward myself when I reached mini-goals.  Since I don't seem to be doing that very well lately and made goals for weekly exercise also.  I have to say I'm really having a hard time right now staying motivated to exercise when I really don't have any clear running goal.  I feel like I'm lost with no direction.  I made of goal of running three times a week and core work twice.  Let's see if I can make that, so far I've only run once this week and I've done no core work.  I also promised to buy myself one new work uniform when I reached my new mini-goal of 154.  As I said I'm having a very hard time getting myself on the treadmill to run, when I don't have a race to train for.  I've been searching for something in this area, but still looking.  I was looking at a Jingle Bell run, but it was closed for registration and I'm not sure if it was full or just not opened yet.  Will have to check into that again.  So that the short update for this week.   And I'm glad the elections are finally over.......can we all get back to work now????   Next weigh in on Friday for Chris and I and Saturday for Jenny.  Til then, keep moving everyone, that includes me! ~ Darcy